Pregnancy Favorites

Blanqi Leggings - I grabbed two pairs of these during their pre-black Friday sale and I’ve been LIVING in them ever since. So soft, so comfy, and I love that they provide belly & back support! I have the black everyday pair and the light grey sport pair and love them both. :)

Desert Mist Diffuser - I’ve never had trouble sleeping…like ever in my entire life until pregnancy. Usually I hit the pillow and pass out. ;) But there’s already been so many nights I feel like I just toss and turn. I’ve been doing Peace & Calming + Lavender in the diffuser together or Valor + Cedarwood. Both have been so relaxing and calming at night. If you’re new to oils, I’m always happy to chat and share our story and what’s worked for us & help you find what will work best for you too!

Pregnancy Journal by Val Marie Paper - I’ve been a Val Marie Paper fan for years now. I use her yearly prayer journal each year, but was so excited to add this pregnancy prayer journal as well to be intentional about praying for this little one throughout this pregnancy. I LOVE how it is set up and it’s been a great practical tool to use during my morning quiet time.

Vanillamint Chapstick - Favorite chapstick ever. Vanillamint is a holiday exclusive and I’ve literally ordered four holiday sets just for the Vanillamint to last me all year. ;) I love sending these with welcome packages to new friends too!

The Mama Natural Book -If you follow Nancy Ray, she shared this book a while back on instagram. I just love her & her reading recommendations! I wish I would've had it from the get go! So many great tips and ideas.

Shop Pink Blush Maternity Clothes - By far my favorite maternity clothes I’ve found! I love that they have so many different options and have fun boutique style clothes. I tried maternity jeans from so many different places and just couldn’t find any that fit me right and didn’t make me feel frumpy. ;) So far I’m obsessed with my jeans from there! I loaded up my cart with some fun sweaters, jeans, and tops and waited patiently for their Black Friday sale to stock up on a few fun pieces!

Pregnancy Pillow - I had been eyeing a pillow like this for a while now. The adorable polka dot one is out of stock, but I ended up ordering this grey C- shaped pillow and LOVE LOVE LOVE it! It makes sleeping so much more comfortable.

Cute Tumbler or Water Bottle - Drinking plenty of water throughout the day is something I’ve been trying so hard to be better about! As a teacher of little ones, it’s so easy to forget to keep drinking water throughout the day. It seems so small and simple, but I think a fun water bottle or tumbler makes it just a little easier to want to drink water throughout the day. ;) These swell water bottles are adorable. I also love the insulated tumblers with a straw. This one has a bunch of fun color options. :)

Young Living Coconut Lime Body Butter - I’ve been rubbing this all over my belly and it makes it so super soft and smells amazing. Hoping this also helps prevent any stretch marks during the last few months too!

Do you have any pregnancy must haves?! Hope this post is helpful for any momma to be’s out there. :)

Thriving In Full Seasons

Happy November friends! 

It’s been too long since I last chatted with you sweet friends! Life has been crazy full, but also crazy good. Today’s blogpost is so fitting for this season and I’m over here preaching to myself. For anyone else who finds themselves in full seasons, I hope this encourages you! I’ll share a few quick, practical tips on thriving over just surviving full seasons in our lives, but first a little back story.

I started this little blog in one of the craziest seasons of my life. I was finishing up my last semester of college, getting married the weekend before finals, moving across the state, and getting ready to start student teaching. In the midst of that I was also working two jobs, leading a student organization, and attending small group each week. I remember the overwhelm that set in during the first week of classes. I sat at my desk in my dorm room in tears wondering how on earth it was possible to “do it all”. And I heard God whisper “you can’t, but I can”.

I knew right then and there, there was no possible way for me to do those next few months on my own, but with Him it was absolutely possible. I also felt Him stirring in my heart saying “don’t miss all the beauty I have for you in this season”. I knew I wanted so much more than just to survive that season. Looking back, I’m SO grateful for all that God taught me during that season and there was so many beautiful, sacred moments tucked into those crazy few months. That season has encouraged me so many times over the past few years to truly soak up the place that He has me in and to look for the beautiful moments right now.

This season looks so much different than that one, but it can be just as easy to get overwhelmed. So I wanted to share a few things that have helped me to make the most of full seasons and I hope it encourages you right where you’re at sweet friend. Let’s dive in!

1. Start with Jesus - In Matthew 11, He tells us to come to Him, all who are weary, and HE will give us rest. Friends we don’t have to carry it all on our shoulders, in fact, we weren’t meant to. Jesus gladly carries the weight of all we are balancing, and when we trust Him in each season, He brings so much abundance.

2. Make time to fill your cup first - If we don’t make time to fill our cup first, we don’t have anything to pour out to others. For me this looks like waking up 30 minutes earlier, to make a hot cup of coffee, curl up in His word, and read a few pages of a book I’m currently reading. That short 30 minutes fills my soul up and helps me feel so refreshed to start the day. I know it seems silly to think that just 30 minutes can make a difference, but on the mornings I wake up late or skip that routine, my patience often runs thin and I feel so out of sorts! This has been so simple, but so life changing the past few years.

3. Write out your day each morning and prioritize the top three must do’s - This can be in a planner or on a simple plain white sheet of paper, but I have found that simply writing out the day, makes me feel so much more relaxed. It’s out of my brain and all down on paper to refer back to throughout the day. I’ve used the Day Designer Daily Planner for 4 years now and love that there is a page dedicated to each day. At the top of each day is a little box that says “Today’s Top Three”. This is so helpful to prioritize the top three MUST DO’s for each day. I tend to get a little crazy with my to do lists and write down way more than is humanly possible in one day, so I love this tool to help focus on just a few things that need to be done first and then if there’s still time, I move to the rest of the list. Day Designer offers a free printable to test out the layout of their planners for any friends looking for a planner like this! Head to this link and click “Try it for Free” to download a sample page. :)

4. Make the most of driving time - most of us spend time driving each day, whether it be to and from work, running kiddos around, or running errands. Those little minutes add up, so let’s make the most of them. :) Take advantage of this time to listen to podcasts, audiobooks or your favorite playlists. This can be such a sweet time to refresh. I love listening to all three! I love listening to podcasts and audiobooks for personal development, but I’m also currently loving listening to Christmas music when my brain needs a break. ;)

5. Add in little joys - In full seasons (and really in all seasons) make time for the little joys. Whether that be as simple as turning on twinkle lights in the house, ordering yourself a fun new book to read, grabbing your favorite coffee, lighting your favorite candle, or wearing your comfiest pajamas, make time for the things that bring you joy. In this season it looks like planning a couple nights a month to go to the coffee shop and grab my favorite drink as a little treat while I get a few solid hours of work in. It’s the little things that can make crazy days a little bit sweeter!

If you’re in a full season friend, I pray for abundance and thriving right where God has you. I pray you are able to soak up this season and see the beautiful moments tucked in.

Start where you are

Hi sweet friends!

Its been a little while, but I just wanted to pop on the blog today and encourage you today to start, and to do what you can with what you have. :) You don’t have to have it all together to start on a dream or a passion. You don’t have to have the prettiest journal to start writing, you don’t have to have a fancy bible study to start studying God’s Word, and you don’t have to the fanciest camera to start taking pictures.

I’m sitting here typing this blogpost by hand on the iPad as both of our MacBooks have officially crashed. My laptop crashed earlier this summer, and my husbands officially stopped working this past week. Everything I do for blogging and my oily business, I do from the laptop. It had software programs for creating graphics, fonts and images downloaded, etc. I was so bummed! But it was also such a sweet reminder of the humble beginnings of this little blog.

I started this blog back in 2015 on the floor of my sisters bedroom, surrounded by boxes as I was getting ready to head back to college and get married a few months later. I set aside $20 to put towards starting this blog and purchased the domain name, spent a couple dollars on a few digital paper designs to create a header for my blog, and found a free website to create it on. Humble beginnings friends. :)

If I wouldn’t have taken the leap way back then and started right where I was at, making the most of the few resources I had, I have no idea where this little blog would be at or if it would exist at all. Instead this past month we celebrated a huge milestone of FIFTY THOUSAND friends viewing this little blog! I am BLOWN AWAY by God’s goodness and His plans being FAR bigger than my own. When I first started this little blog my prayer was that ONE friend would be encouraged and pointed back to Jesus. And if that happened, then pursuing this passion would be so worth it. So the thought of fifty thousand friends being encouraged, inspired ad pointed back to Jesus is bringing me to tears!

Friends, if you’ve got a dream in your heart, surrender it to Him and run alongside Jesus for it! It is so worth pursuing. I can’t wait to see what abundant fruit comes from it!

xoxo Rachel

He's a God of Miracles

He’s a God of Miracles. We are still in awe of the beautiful story God is writing through our sweet baby J. We’ve taken you all along on this journey every step of the way so far, so it only feels right to continue to share this baby’s story for His glory. So here we go!

On June 29th we shared with the world our story of walking through infertility. We had been walking this journey for over a year and I felt God lay it on my heart to share it with the world. My husband so graciously agreed to share our story. The outpouring of love that came from friends, family, and even strangers, was overwhelming in the best way. We will never take the prayers, comments, and sweet encouraging messages for granted. That season was full of so many connections made and stories shared that will always hold a place in our hearts.

Fast forward to July. July was filled with SO many fun summer memories - spending late nights on the lake with friends, going on the best family vacation, and just soaking up every bit of summer. At the end of July (July 29th to be exact because God is in every bit of this story) our best friends shared with us that they were expecting! We were SO excited for them, but it was also super bittersweet to have yet another one of our close friends walking through the season we so desperately longed for. The next few days we spent so much time praying, just asking God that he would bring peace to our hearts and help us to celebrate those around us in this season. I felt like I was hitting my breaking point and was just absolutely exhausted with this journey. Honestly, I wanted to throw in the towel and take a break from trying for a little one for a while.

Friends of ours asked us to come over the following night, I really just wanted to stay home and watch Netflix, but we went. While we were there, one of our friends got out his guitar and started playing a few worship songs from church. We all sang along and when we were finished they asked if we had any specific prayer requests and if they could pray over us. We shared with them that we were really struggling with the season God has us in and this whole journey to growing our family and asked that they would just pray for peace and wisdom for God to lead us. I sobbed as they prayed for peace and healing and abundant blessings for us. God knew it was exactly what our hearts needed.

Fast forward a week later and our church was hosting a night of prayer. Our church has just finished a series on prayer and this was an opportunity to put what we had learned into practice. This was WAY out of my comfort zone and I wasn’t too sure about going, but Ry said “Babe, prayer can never be a bad thing, I think we should go.” I’m so glad we went.

The following day, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. God was teaching me that my identity has to be in Him above all else. Being a wife, momma, teacher, sister, friend, etc. will never truly fulfill me. He was teaching me true contentment. I shared this with my husband and said maybe this is our season to simply celebrate others and embrace life just the two of us. We shared what we were grateful for and able to do in this season that we might not otherwise have been able to do. We even started planning to buy a boat next summer to host family and friends in the summertime here.

Fast forward another week or so, summer was winding down and I was driving with a co-worker and friend to visit another school. On the way there she asked how things were going with starting a family, and I shared with her that God had recently given me peace with the season we were in and that maybe this was simply our season to celebrate others. She shared that she had been praying for us and that she just felt like God put it on her heart to share that we were going to be just fine and be able to conceive without any infertility treatments. I sort of laughed it off…I was super thankful for her prayers, but after 18 months of trying, it didn’t seem like that would be the case for us at all.

Friends…two days later we got pregnant with sweet baby J. TWO DAYS AFTER THIS CONVERSATION. He is a God of miracles.

June 29th we shared our story of infertility. July 29th our best friends shared they were expecting. August 29th I woke up as a momma. On August 28th…I took a pregnancy test and it said PREGNANT for this first time ever. (I’m crying all over again as I type this.) I immediately fell to my knees, tears streaming down my face, and all I could whisper was “thankyou God”.

The next few days and weeks were a blur of excitement, nausea, dreaming, & praying.

In the days leading up to our first ultrasound, I was so worried that there would be complications, or that the baby would be measuring too small, or that we wouldn’t get to see a heartbeat. We prayed fervently over this little one, for a healthy, thriving sweet baby. We went in for the ultrasound and we immediately got to see sweet baby J on the screen. She showed us his/her heartbeat and measured it and babe had a strong heartbeat. She then said she’d take a few measurements to see where baby was lining up according to my estimated due date. Sweet baby J was already measuring 5 days ahead of my due date size wise…friends God hears our prayers! So many prayers were answered and that will always be such a sweet day to look back on. We still have many months to go, and would love your prayers throughout this journey, but we trust that God is so faithful!

The past month we’ve gotten to share this sweet news with so many family and friends, and I wish I would’ve captured each and every person’s reaction. Sweet baby J, we can’t wait to tell you the story of you and just how loved you are. There have been SO many tears of pain cried out for you this past year, and now SO SO many tears of joy at the announcement of you! It’s an honor to get to be your momma. God is already doing big things through you, little one.

So here we are! Feeling SO grateful to get to write this post and share this babe’s story with you all. The season we just walked through will forever be part of our story, but we cannot wait to share and celebrate this next season with you all too. We would LOVE your continued prayers. We believe they have made all the difference. Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou from the bottom of our hearts.

Parenthood here we come. :)

A Peek Inside My Teacher Bag

Welcome to day three of the back to school series sweet friends! Today I'm giving you a peek inside my teacher bag. I love seeing what others pack in their teacher bags so I thought I'd give you a peek into mine. :)

Last year I used a backpack from TJ Maxx and liked it, but decided to go with a tote bag this year since my "purse" is a brown leather backpack. I found one at Target with a built in laptop pocket too and love it! Here's what I pack in my teacher bag!

• Laptop & Charger
• iPad & Charger
• Headphones
• Wallet
• Professional Development book - I just finished the Wild Card and absolutely LOVED it! Happy Teachers Change the World is next on my reading list for school. :) 

• A Pack of Gum 
• My favorite Modern Makerie Oily Pouch & Oils
• A snack of some sort (usually a KIND Gluten Free Granola Bar and a Banana)
• A can of sparkling water (Grapefruit Bubly or Ningxia Zyng are my favorites)
• Thieves Hand Sanitizer & Savvy Minerals Lipgloss

• My Teacher Happy Planner - absolutely love this resource for planning and staying organized
• My Happy Notes Notebook - just picked this up and have so many ideas for it!
• Pouch with my favorite Gelocity Pens & Washi Tape - these make everything more fun right? ;) 
• Scissors 
• Current activities to cut & laminate
• Spiral Bound Notecards with the kids' data on them to enter
• Lanyard & Keys

If you're a teacher, I'd love to hear what your must haves are in your teacher bag! :) If you share on instagram, tag me @beautifulseasonco and I'd love to see and get new ideas! I hope you all are having a WONDERFUL start to the school year! Tomorrow is my first official day back at school, ready or not here we go! ;) 

The Perfect Teacher Shoes

Happy Back to School Season teacher friends! It's day two of our fun little back to school series on the blog filled with my favorites for this season, a classroom transformation and just a few helpful tips and tricks along the way.

After sharing my honest blogpost on whether or not I thought Tieks were worth the price, SO many teacher friends reached out thanking me and sharing that they loved hearing real thoughts from a real person. Those comments absolutely made my day, because friends, that's my heart for this space. I want it to be real and authentic and a place you always feel welcome! I love sharing all the fun things here, but promise to always keep it real too.

After receiving so many comments and messages, I put together a whole post specifically for teacher friends on why Tieks are my absolute FAVORITE teacher shoes. Because let's face it...as teachers we rarely sit down. As a preschool teacher, I can tell you that four-year-olds add a whole another level to keeping me on my toes. ;)  

I don't know about you, but I've gone through so many pairs of shoes in the short time I've been teaching. Between field experiences in college, student teaching, subbing, and now heading into my third year of teaching full time, I've been on the hunt for the perfect pair of teacher shoes. Often times my previous pairs would be cute, but not super comfy and I'd end up walking around barefoot by mid afternoon. When I did find a pair that was super comfy, they didn't hold up longer than 6 months and I was so bummed!

Picture by Lauren Graeve Photography || Wearing Chestnut Brown Tieks

In my dream world, my teacher shoes would be...

+ super duper comfy - I dreamed of shoes that were as comfy at 8pm as they were at 8am

+ durable - I wanted them to hold up all year long and even into the following year ideally

+ versatile - I love the idea of a capsule wardrobe and investing in a few quality pieces to wear them with anything and everything! As teachers we have enough decisions to make each morning - the simpler, the better! 

+ cute - a pair that was cute and fun was is an added bonus, but honestly if I could find a pair of shoes that met all of the criteria above, I was going to be a HAPPY camper 

Wearing Chestnut Brown Tieks

I had been eyeing a pair of flats on Pinterest for YEARS but always shied away from the price tag. After saving up a few gift cards from Christmas and Birthdays, I decided to take the leap and invest in my first pair of Tieks! I ordered the Chestnut Flats because I LOVED how versatile they were. I have a tote bag and leather backpack that are this same color as well. :) 

They arrived on a Friday afternoon as we were getting ready to leave town. I squealed as I walked to the mailbox and grabbed the box. I hopped in the car and immediately unwrapped them as my husband drove. They were SO soft and felt like a pillow as I slipped them on in the car. We were heading to graduation parties that weekend. I immediately put them to the test as we set up all day for my brother's grad party and celebrated all afternoon and evening. Friends, I did not have a single blister the very first time I wore them...I was in shock. That's pretty much never happened for me. It wasn't like I slipped them on for just an hour either, I wore them for 10-12 hours the very first time. It was after that long day, that I realized these shoes were absolutely worth the price for this reason alone! Each time I've worn them since then, they've gotten better and better, which I didn't think was possible. ;) Tieks are made with real leather and are designed to mold to your unique feet, SO cool! Comfy? CHECK!

Picture by Lauren Graeve Photography || Wearing Brown Chestnut Tieks 

Now let's chat about the versatility of these shoes. I originally ordered the chestnut pair and absolutely LOVE them. I can literally slip them on with anything. They go perfect with a white tee & jeans on the weekend, a fun striped dress for church on Sundays and everything in between! 

After falling in love with my classic chestnut pair, I decided to order a second pair in a fun color or design before the school year started, because I can already tell you these shoes will be on repeat all year long. ;) There are SO many fun options to choose from, but I finally decided on the rose gold glam pair. I love the blush color and the shimmer makes me feel so fancy!

Being a preschool teacher is definitely not glamorous most days as I wipe little noses, clean up spilt snack and empty sand and wood chips out of tiny shoes, but it is so worth every second! It is such a joy to be their teacher and get to pour into their lives for a year. It's the little things like fun flats or fresh nail polish that make me feel a little more put together in the midst of the day to day. :) This fun pair is just as versatile. I love throwing them on with a fun floral shirt or even leggings and a cozy cardigan! Versatile? DOUBLE CHECK! 

Wearing Rose Gold Glam Tieks

My last hope for my dream teacher shoes was that they would be durable and hold up all school year long. I shared in my previous blogpost, that the only thing I was bummed about was that my brown pair already had a little scuff on the back. A few days after sharing my blogpost, a member of the Tieks team sent me an email offering to send a mailing envelope to have them sent in and fixed right up! I was blown away by their incredible customer service. THIS is what makes these shoes worth the investment! I have a feeling these flats will hold up not only all year long, but also in the years to come!  Of course, I promise to keep you all updated as the school year goes on. :) You can just tell that when you open them up, that they are SO well made! 

Fun fact: Each pair of Tieks is handcrafted and takes THREE days to make. 

These shoes are definitely an investment, but so worth every penny! Durable? CHECK! 

Picture by Lauren Graeve Photography

I mentioned that cute was an added bonus, and Tieks went above and beyond in that area too! I mean, y'all, look at these pretty details just in the packaging alone! They are so thoughtful with their packaging. Every package comes with a sweet handwritten note, their signature blue box with a coordinating floral band wrapped around it, and a little black pouch to fold up your Tieks in and throw in your tote bag! I'm kind of a nerd when it comes to packaging and branding and Tieks knocked it out of the park with theirs! It's absolutely gorgeous and I love when brands make you feel so special. 

Details of the Rose gold Glam Tieks

So, there you have it friends! I have finally found my PERFECT teacher shoes and I am just giddy thinking about wearing these fun flats all school year long. :) Teacher friends, these flats are so worth the investment! As teachers, we tend to put everyone else's needs first, but it's so important to take care of ourselves too so we can be our very best for our little learners! 

The Biggest Classroom Transformation

Welcome to the Back to School Series!! All week long I'll be sharing my favorite tips and tricks, our classroom reveal, and some of my favorite teacher things! We're kicking off day one with my preschool classroom transformation! Last summer I moved classrooms and spent the majority of my days pouring into this space to make it fun place to come each day for my little learners! I included some fun before & after pictures at the end of this post too - it's so fun to see just how far this space has come!

I totally don't think you have to have a cute classroom to be a great teacher. I just absolutely LOVE doing this kind of thing and for me, if I'm going to spend hours and hours there every day for 10 months of the year, I wanted it to be a space that is filled with joy. :) 

Alright, let's dive in! Welcome to our happy place. :) 

When you first walk into our room here's what you'll see! (Click right to swipe through the pictures) I had to get creative with what we could use to line up that would stay on the carpet. After some research, I found these sit spots that we use as a visual reminder for where each kiddo stands when we line up. They stayed put all year long last year and I love that I can just pull them up to wash them if they get dirty! I ordered the Starter Pack on Amazon. :) I love that I can also pull them up and move them around if we want to use them for other activities too (for example making a circle for duck duck goose or other gross motor games). 

If you turn to the right, you'll see our carpet time area. We've got our calendar, schedule, class rules, alphabet wall, etc. up in this area. This is where we do all of our circle times, read alouds, and large group activities. :) We also have our Smart Board up here as well. We use our smart board for STEM activities, as well as music and movement most days. :) 

Off of our carpet area, we have a few our our centers set up. Our little library area is set up near the window and it is one of the kiddos favorite spots! I love all the natural light shining in and they love picking out a book buddy to cuddle up with. :) On the opposite side of the carpet we have a little Toys & Games area where we set out puzzles, or math and literacy games. Behind the polka dotted fabric is a wall of built in shelves that I use for storage for toys and games we aren't currently using. 

The middle area of our classroom is set up with tables so we can all be together when we have snack, or do table activities. We refer to the tables by color to make it easy for the kiddos to know which group they are in that day. The color of each table also helps distinguish different centers when it comes to choice time. The blue table is usually our play-dough table, the red table is our art center, and the yellow "teacher" table is where we do small groups. My desk is also in the middle of the classroom although It's rarely used as a desk and more of a spot to store things. ;) We use our big white cart to store craft materials and section off the room. 

In the back of our classroom we have our blocks center, table toys, and sensory area. I picked up a little coffee table at IKEA that works perfectly for little ones to draw and create at. On the wall we hang little STEM cards to give the kids ideas of what to build. I also try to include literacy and writing in every center, so we have blocks books and little clipboards and paper here as well! Because I had the space this year, we have a table toys back here as well as an added bonus. This area is perfect for putting manipulatives out or using it as a workspace to sort out items if the sensory table is a "Scavenger Hunt". 

On the other side of the back half of our room we have our pretend center. This center usually changes each month based on what we are learning. (We made it a fire station and a pumpkin patch during October, a construction site in the spring, etc.) Each year it starts out as a house center. :) Above this area we hang our artwork that usually goes along with the theme of that center. The area right behind our pretend center is our little "calm down" area. We have feelings posters up, pillows, a few stories about emotions, and some tools to help little ones calm their big emotions. 

This white "wall" pictured above, is actually a wall of cabinets that we used to section off the room. I was super lucky to have an incredibly spacious room this past year, but it was almost a little bit too big for little ones. I didn't want to not be able to see them while they were at centers, so I made the best use of this space by sectioning off the back area of the room to use as a little storage room/work station. I LOVE love love this set up and being able to utilize every part of our room. Alright now the fun part! I love before and after's so I made sure to snap a few pictures before all of the hard work began! 

This was the front part of my room by my carpet area. Y'all I was SO overwhelmed when I walked into this room. Super grateful for every single person who helped make this room come to LIFE! The janitors who responded to my every request, my husband who made SO many shopping trips with me and helped put together furniture, my momma who is the organization QUEEN and spend 11 hours with me one day sorting through shelves and cupboards, and my sweet co-worker who helped me brainstorm how to set things up!

This picture shows the little makeshift wall of cabinets to divide up the room. :) 

This is standing in the back of the room looking forward. This room took hours upon hours to put together, but it makes my heart so happy walking in each morning! 

Here's a few more before pictures I snapped. So thankful for the opportunity to make this a welcoming space for my little learners! Watching them grow and learn over the year, and getting to be a part of their big discoveries is such a joy. Cheers to year 3! 

Be sure to check back tomorrow for day two of our back to school series and all the details on my all time favorite teacher shoes! 

A Letter to the Longing to be Momma

Today's Friday coffee chat is a little bit different. I drafted this post a while back, but God laid it on my heart to share it here today. So instead of a topic to chat about, I'm going to share this letter I'd written a while back to the sweet friends longing to be a momma. Walking this journey through infertility has opened my heart to so many emotions I never thought twice out before walking this journey. I hope this post helps you feel a little less alone.

To the longing to be momma, I'm right there with you.

It's the effort it takes to put on a smile and laugh off when yet another friend so lovingly asks "so when are you having kids?!" when deep inside you so desperately wish you already had one in your arms.

It's the bittersweet feelings that rush over you when you're scrolling through social media and see another baby announcement. Its so exciting to celebrate with others, but if I'm being honest it's also the heartache & selfish feelings of yet another baby on the way that's not yours.

It's acknowledging that somedays it just flat out hurts & it's totally out of your control.

It's the heartache of walking past the maternity clothes & sweet tiny baby clothes that brings you to tears.

It's the stillness in your home that you wish was filled with tiny feet running around.

It's questioning everything...what the heck did we do wrong? what is God trying to teach us? Why did he pick us to walk through this journey that quite honestly somedays feels like torture? When will this season be over? When will it stop hurting so much? Why do all of our friends get to walk through the season we so desperately long for? When will it be our turn? How do we love and serve others well in a season of life where everything feels dark? Does God hear our prayers? 

It's fighting the lies that sneak in, telling you, you wouldn't be a good enough momma, or that you need to have life more "together" first.

It's the head spinning, crying out to God, what can we do?!

It's the heart wrenching pain when your sweet preschoolers ask why you're not a mommy yet.

It's the deep, deep longing to love a little human you've never met before.

It's fighting the jealousy and envy of those expecting or those who have little ones.

It's fighting the anger and bitterness that creeps in when others with little ones complain about the very moments you long for. 

It's the hard, hard surrender of knowing only God can make this miracle happen.

It's not being able to put into words the depth of the pain that swallows up your heart.

It's putting on your bravest smile while choking back the tears to congratulate others on the announcement of their newest little one.

It's putting on a fresh face of makeup before heading out of the house because you just cried it all off in your husband's arms.

It's feeling mad and angry at God and not wanting to admit that to anyone. 

It's the utter exhaustion of walking through a weird season of grief day in and day out. 

It's the constant roller coaster of hoping...wishing...praying...and then grieving as yet another month passes with no signs of a baby on the way. 

It's not letting yourself think too much about anything baby related...because it feels like an empty dream. 

It's feeling constant guilt...am I not eating right? am I too stressed? am I letting my husband down? do I not workout enough? did I workout too hard? the list goes on...

It's the head-spinning, overwhelming, wondering what steps to take next...Do we pursue infertility treatments? Do we continue to be patient and try natural alternatives? If it comes down to IVF do we pursue that route or do we put that money towards adoption? How will we ever afford it? Do we foster? Is this not our season to be parents?

It's the dread of walking by the room in the hallway upstairs you planned to be a nursery by now.

It's the constant wrestling in your heart, trying to stay hopeful and truly believe, but your faith being tested in the hardest ways. 

It's watching others have "oops" babies in their arms already and still longing for the very child you've prayed for, hoped for, and dreamed of.

It's feeling so alone when all of your friends are mommas and you can't relate, but so desperately wish you could. 

It's going through the motions as each holiday and season passes and you thought you'd get to experience it with a tiny little person by your side, but your arms are empty.

It's standing in the back of church whispering the words of each song while fighting back tears, desperately needing to hear the lyrics and praying "God, help me believe this".

This season of life is HARD friends. Walking IN the Valley and sharing about it is hard. We are doing the very best to make the most of it, and find the little joys in each day, but some days...a lot of days...this is what it really feels like. 

So to the friend longing to be a momma, I hope you know you're not alone. I see you. I'm walking this journey right alongside you. God's got this, I know He does. Even on the hardest days. I'm praying for you sweet friends! 

Friday Coffee Chat: Mentoring + Discipleship

Happy Friday sweet friends! Welcome to Friday Morning Coffee Chats. I always tell y'all I wish we could get together in real life every Friday morning and have coffee together, pray together, laugh together, cry together, and just share life! 

I dream of that becoming a reality someday, but until then, I thought we'd make Friday mornings our Coffee Chats days on the Blog! Each Friday I'll pick a new topic to chat about! Pour yourself a hot cup of coffee, find a cozy spot, and let's chat together. :) 

Okay! Today's Friday Coffee Chat topic..mentoring + discipleship. 

Mentoring and being mentored has been something that God has laid on my hear this past year. I had heard a lot about this idea of mentorship and discipleship, but it all felt super overwhelming to me. 

In February this past year, I attended the IF:Gathering and God laid it on my heart in big ways to step out in faith and simply start. It wasn't a coincidence that, that same weekend IF:Gathering launched the "discipleship collective". So the rest of the weekend I prayed for God to lead me and to give me the courage to simply start. 

I got back home and texted a friend who's just a few miles away and in a season of life I was in not too long ago. I asked if she would be up for picking out a bible study together and meeting for coffee once a week to just share what we're learning. She said that she was totally up for that and that actually had been an answer to prayer for her too (So crazy how God works...I don't know why I ever doubt him. ;) ) 

So that's what we did! I felt totally unqualified, and wasn't really sure if this was what discipleship looked like at all. I took away SO much during this time and was constantly being stretched by God in the best way. It encouraged me to get vulnerable with others, to ask for help, and to be held accountable to studying scripture each day.

If you're in a place of feeling overwhelmed with the idea of discipleship, I encourage you to pray over it and simply start small! I think sometimes we make it too complicated. The word discipleship sounds so big and biblical. Let's just grab a friend, grab our bibles, and do life together for His glory! 

Our church also does small groups, and that's another way I love learning from women in so many different seasons of life! There is so much wisdom to be learned from women who are in the seasons ahead of us. 

Here's to doing life together and creating community sweet friends!

In the Waiting Playlist

Music has been so therapeutic during this hard, hard journey of infertility. I thought I'd share a few of my favorite songs that have helped encourage my weary heart in the waiting! I'll include YouTube Links to each song as well as my favorite lyrics in each song too. 

Do it Again by Elevation Worship

Listen Here

"I've seen you move, you move the mountains & I believe, I'll see you do it again! You made a way...when there was no way. & I believe, I'll see you do it again!" 

Yes I will by Vertical Worship

Listen Here

"Yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley. Yes I will, bless Your name!
Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy. All my days, oh yes I will"

Yes & Amen by Housefires

Listen Here

"Faithful you are. Faithful forever you will be. Faithful you are.
All your promises are yes and Amen.
All your promises are yes and Amen."

Hills & Valleys by Tauren Wells

Listen Here

"I've watched my dreams get broken. In you I hope again! No matter what I know, I'm safe inside Your hand!

On the mountains, I will bow my life to the one who set me there.
In the valley, I will lift my eyes to the one who sees me there.
When I'm standing on the mountain aft, didn't get there on my own
When I'm walking through the valley end, no I am not alone!
You're God of the hills and valleys! Hills and Valleys!
God of the hills and valleys and I am not alone!"

Counting Every Blessing by Rend Collective

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"I am counting every blessing, counting every blessing....Letting go and trusting when I cannot see. I am counting every blessing, counting every blessing....surely every season you are good to me!"

Trust in You by Lauren Daigle

Listen Here

"When You don't move the mountains, I'm needing You to move....
When You don't part the waters...I wish I could walk through.
When You don't give the answers...As I cry out to You!
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!"

Our God is Greater

Listen Here

"Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God You are higher than any other!
Our God is Healer, awesome in power, Our God, Our God.

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
Then what can stand against?"

King of My Heart by Steffany Gretzinger

Listen Here

Favorite Lyrics: "And let the King of my heart be the wind inside my sails, the anchor in the waves....Oh oh, He is my song. Let the King of my heart be the fire inside my veins...the echo of my days, Oh oh, He is my song! You are good, good, ohhh!

You're never gonna let, never gonna let me down. You're never gonna let, never gonna let me down. Cause you are GOOD!"

Let the Waters Rise

Listen Here

"There's a raging sea right in front of me. Wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees.
So let the waters rise...if You want them to. I will follow You, I will follow You, I will follow You."

I hope these songs encourage your hearts sweet friends!